Inner Work:
I did another Gratitude List last night. Just seems like something good, no matter what else I may do.
This time what came up was all about my family, how much I love each one of them. I felt like I could see them for who they really are, “warts and all,” and still love and appreciate them.
When I thought about my 101 year old grandma Holly, she is truly a role model for me. She’s always upbeat and wants to connect. She has always stayed involved in life and learning, and her mind is still pretty good.
I had some fear come up next. If my memory is so absent now with menopause, how will I ever stay sharp like her, when I’m in my 80s,90s and beyond!!? I just have to hope it comes back some from what it is now (walking into the next room and forgetting what I went there for, before I even get there).
Menopause has been a humbling experience for me in a number of ways. Besides the memory, what about my sex drive? Zero! But the hot flashes are still completely gone! Yay for sleep!
I breathed through those feelings and got back to the love and appreciation. I’m sure they’ll benefit from some deeper work later, but not at 1am.
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I totally forgot to do my Morning Pages this a.m. Was tired after 6 hrs sleep (I can function for a day or two on 7 hrs., but usually feel best on 8-9 hrs of sleep). I am going to set my alarm for 15 minutes earlier from now on; no excuses then.
I believe I will go back to the original format, with inner work, food and exercise all together in one post. This new way feels too compartmentalized; these things are not actually separate. I have insights when I’m doing physical actions, and physical effects when I do emotional work. My eating affects my feelings and connection and my connection affects how my body works and how I feel about my food and my energy for exercise, etc, etc. The whole point is to be able to see what effect everything has on each other.
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On another note, that White Bean Turkey Chili was really missing some flavors. I couldn’t figure out what it was, and I hope no one tried to use that recipe yet. Today I ate it and figured it out and edited it. It’s now under Food Log, as are all recipes, so it is delicious now! The best chili I have ever made! LOL I say that every time.
innerhealthjourney 
“I felt like I could see them for who they really are, “warts and all,” and still love and appreciate them.” WOW …
As for the memory — maybe your memory was a gift from childhood and you did not realize it? I have always been absent minded. I have been known to put the salad in the oven, the salt in the fridge, dump the chicken in the garbage and wonder why there was an empty wrapper in the dish.
Yes, it could have been a gift. If it was, I didn’t appreciate it that much. I just thought that’s how it was for everyone, or at least anyone who is not old. I guess we tend to appreciate things once they’re gone. Especially if we don’t know they’re temporary or not ordinary.
That reminds me to put it on my Gratitude List, because it’s all about appreciating what one does have. Maybe it too will expand if I focus on it more. I am grateful that when I forget, I can just walk back to where I was and what I was doing and pretty much remember right away!
There you go. I was thinking about this later in the day and was thinking of someone who could not forget the past and thinking that forgetting is perhaps a practical thing some times.