DAY 7

FOOD LOG

Breakfast:  10:00am – KS Blueberry Muffins (recipe)

Lunch:  3:30pm – White Bean Turkey Chili (recipe), 1-1/2 c. blender salad

Dinner:  8:30pm – 10 garlic romano baked wings, 8 oz. sweet potato baked chips with smoked paprika, 2 c. collards

Snack:  10:30pm – 1 c. low fat milk, 4 oz frozen fruit, 1 scoop protein powder, 1 dropper LS

SO much food!  Stuffed!   I am considering doing the Kay Sheppard plan exactly, mainly because I want a sponsor, and the 12 step group I go to follows her plan in its entirety.  I asked a sponsor there to work with me and she only works with people who follow the complete plan.  It seems like all the people in that group who share are convinced that long-term success is only possible that way.

This has brought up a lot of conflicting feelings for me.  I really want to get better and I cannot discount the success that this group has had with their RFA plan.  It is mainly what inspired me to start again, to form a specific plan and believe I could be successful after all the failed attempts on other plans.  There are a lot of things I use from the plan, and there are some key things I’m not comfortable with in the full plan, but I am willing to learn about it and consider it.  I’m hoping to go to her one day workshop this coming Saturday, and get some answers.  I really respect the research and information that this woman has provided. 

It was because of Kay Sheppard that I realized that all forms of refined sugar, wheat and grain have caused me cravings all these years. 

I have some specific questions:

  • I don’t understand how the same amount of food can be appropriate for everyone – me at 5’2″ and some guy at 6’2″, someone sedentary as well as someone who is very active, as examples.
  • I need to know if there’s a beverage I could substitute for milk; it doesn’t agree with me.  Also, why are part skim mozzarella and low fat ricotta not acceptable if low fat dairy like milk, cottage cheese, yogurt and kefir are okay?  Mozzarella and ricotta are fresh cheeses like cottage cheese.
  • With my partner who follows the plan exactly, I’ve seen how her daily schedule revolves around getting her meals at a certain time.  She’ll often tell me that we have to wait to go do a several hour outing because it doesn’t coincide with her meal schedule, because there is no between meal eating on this plan.  To me that’s just causing a person become obsessive about food.  Why not bring an acceptable food to eat and hold you over, keeping your blood sugar steady? 
  • I am excited to find out if there’s a way to be vegetarian on this plan, or at least mostly vegetarian.

I also have resistance to even calling myself a “food addict,” even if I sometimes act like a typical addict when I eat sugar.  I feel like it brings to mind the degenerate stereotype, and it does not feel empowering to me.  I know that refined carbs affect my emotions and thinking.  I prefer to call myself “carb sensitive.”  This reminds me to be cautious with foods that might harm me.  Have I ever eaten to improve my mood?  Yes, I’m sure I have, probably more so to just numb out when life gets overwhelming.  Not so much anymore, since therapy has brought awareness, and skills in identifying my feelings and addressing their causes.  I don’t like calling myself powerless, although I do know that I cannot control myself when I eat sugar. 

I think words are important, especially the ones we repeatedly use to describe ourselves.  Although I have issues with the words used in 12 step programs, I still think the 12 steps are a good thing.  I feel like everyone could benefit from working the steps in some form, because it’s a spiritual practice.  It’s a structure that I want to add to my inner work; I have only done a few steps at different times.

In working the 12 steps, one is required to get real, and dig deeply, remember uncomfortable things, acknowledge what has been true and take action to make it right.  We all have things.   If this sounds unpleasant, it can be at times but it is also freeing.  From the little I’ve done, I know that it allows me to come clean, with a purity of spirit, to God.  Not because God requires it, but because I need it to connect with God without distraction.

There was a study done that helped me understand a great deal about carb sensitivity.  They gave rats daily access to food and sugar.  The rats came to prefer the sugar to the food that actually had nutrients necessary for life, and ate more sugar compared to food.  The delay of food past the time when a lab animal would normally be hungry has become a guaranteed way to create sugar dependency.

The most interesting thing to me was that it was every single one of the rats, not just the “food addict” rats or “carb sensitive” ones, even the ones raised in good homes who’d been given everything they ever needed.  What that tells me is that sugar is a bad thing for everyone.  It is not the case that “a little is okay.”   Dieting actually makes its effects worse.   Highly processed, adulterated and refined products do not support health. 

I’ll sleep on it.  Either way, I’ll get a sponsor at Overeaters Anonymous (OA) if not my Recovery from Food Addiction (RFA) group.  My plan is acceptable in OA, where your food plan must simply not include any foods that trigger compulsive eating.

EXERCISE LOG

  • 60 mins. mountain biking – Nice easy pace, mostly flat; 1st time out in over a month
  • 9 mins. barefoot running – Decided to run longer, since I’ll start doing 10 mins. tomorrow
  • stretching

Felt strong; only a little sore afterwards.  I tried to use my free Trimble Outdoor app on my phone to track my speed, distance and elevation, but all I could figure how to get was the map.

While at REI today, I tried on some Vibram Five Fingers running shoes. I want to be able to run barefoot style when it’s cold, and when I run my races, like the one coming up on March 17th.  I will NOT be trashing them in the mud race at the end of April!!!

My exercise plan has been a little random, so I’m editing it a bit today.  It’s on its own page, clickable across the top menu bar.

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About innerhealthjourney

I'm a healer. I am into new age spirituality, healthy food, hiking and disc golf.
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3 Responses to DAY 7

  1. Nalini says:

    I agree with you … and that is so odd about the milk – I wonder if you can make mozarella out of skim milk. You can do that at home. Is there skim Lactaid milk? Or is Lactaid milk not allowed?

    I completely agree about the words that make up the inner dialogue of our minds and therefore the quality of our existence. Are we on the non-sugar lifestyle? Still it is intriguing to consider what the word ‘addict’ means to some of us … maybe it is in the association where lies the resistance.

    • I really appreciate your insights, Nalini. Thanks for continuing to read and comment!

      Yes, I do have negative associations about the word addict. I know that there has been a public health effort to explain that addiction is a disease due to someone’s biochemistry, but that is not what comes to mind when I hear the word!

      I think addiction is also a spiritual disturbance, otherwise the 12 steps would be meaningless once the person was off the substance and away from the people. But then, many people have spiritual disturbances, which is why I don’t think youm have to be an addict to benefit from the 12 steps.

      I know it doesn’t make logical sense, but I don’t want to use a word for myself that brings up a bad connotation for me. It is just easier to pick a different word, than to try to reprogram my subconscious mind about yet another thing! LOL

      • Nalini says:

        I completely support that using another word is a very healthy position to take and think of the water experiment when we talk about this. The “cloudy” water appears when it is surrounded by negative words. But also, as you attempt to release some of the things that hold you back, I wonder what all the free associated other concepts and thoughts are that are connected to the word “addict.” Perhaps those associations would be worth releasing too to open a space for that new way of thinking — maybe then the word would no longer have power over you and that not having power might be part of the healing …

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