Big day on the inner work. Went to the Kay Sheppard Recovery from Food Addiction workshop. i went in thinking i really liked the plan i received from my inner guidance. Then in the workshop I got answers to all my questions i’d had. I didn’t like all the answers, but i knew where the plan stood. I decided that it would be better to go ahead and get a sponsor and start working the steps. I decided if that meant I had to follow the plan completely, it was worth it.
Well, by dinner I was already realizing what I got myself into! The food plan calls for 1 Tablespoon of oil per day, and I normally have 3. ok, i’ll probably go into withdrawal over that, but I’ll deal with it. I quickly realized that with that much less oil ( 360 calories) I would most definitely have room for the full amounts on the food plan!
Then on the way home, I realized that I have to taste the green juice for my client everyday, which is not part of this plan, even a taste. Not to mention there is no juice on the plan. Is there any way I can do the plan and satisfy my client’s needs?
Soon after, when committing to my food for the following day (raising the bar yet another notch), I remembered that there is no sweetener allowed for my breakfasts and snacks except Sugar Twin (cyclamate). There is no way I’m going to use chemical sweeteners. Heck, I barely use aspirin except maybe once a year! So, can I enjoy my breakfasts and snacks without any sweetener?
Dilemmas! I will discuss it with my sponsor tomorrow.
The workshop was full of exploratory and healing processes, like uncovering the negative thoughts behind uncomfortable feelings, exposing their falseness, and creating affirmations. For example, I’m feeling frustrated at the changes I am considering, especially when they don’t fully make sense to me (less oil). The thought is that I am missing out on something by giving up food I enjoy that I don’t see harming me. The belief is that somehow this food comforts me, as if food is love. But we all know food is not love, and it actually takes up space, because love is not sought to be given or received if food is being used. So the thought and belief do not serve me. Some new thought’s are: I don’t need extra oil, I have all the love I want, I am lovable, Love is what i really want, etc.
We wrote down our dreams, desires and goals, picked one thing to improve and an action step toward it. It really helps to actually write it down on paper and share it all.
I specifically committed to turning off the TV by 9pm on weeknights, so I can no longer tell myself that “I don’t have time” to get in my exercise and inner work first thing in the morning.
I have had a lot of resistance to many parts of this healing path, but little by little the objections are going away. I just want to get healthy, so whatever I have to confront in myself, has to happen. None of these dilemmas are insurmountable.
Breakfast: 8:00am – 2 eggs, 1/4 c oat bran, 1/4 c steel cut oats, 6 oz pear, 1 t ginger, 1 dropper LS
Lunch: 12:30pm – 3 oz chicken, 1/2 c pinto beans, 2 c salad, 1-1/2 T mayo yogurt mustard dressing
Dinner: 6:40pm – 4 oz baked trout, 1 c brown rice, 2 c grilled vegs
Snack: 9:30am – 1 c almond milk, 4 oz cherries, 1 oz blueberries, 12 g whey protein powder, 1 dropper LS
Zilch. I’ve been really feeling like I need to up my exercise game to at least 30 minutes a day, preferably 45 mins. Not zilch! My commitment to less tv will hopefully help. Now I just need to figure out how to entertain myself while working out indoors in this bad weather. Maybe back to the gym for a while.
And I need to type (and think) a lot faster! One of the challenges is time for the cooking, exercising and inner work, plus WRITING about it all! As you can see, I have started cutting out the grammar!