DAY 36

Yesterday, I brought my lunch to a workshop where we made backpacking stoves.  I had planned to eat it heated on the stove we made. However, the stove was not big enough to accommodate the large amount of food.  It was an alcohol stove we made, which is best suited for reheating food in a sealed bag or rehydrating MREs, i.e. boiling water. It was not a meal that would be palatable cold. So I decided to stop at a Wendy’s on the way to the park for exercise.  They are the only fast food I know that has unadulterated beef (no fillers, soy, gluten, msg, etc).  By then it was over 6 hours from my last meal, and I was out of patience.
Next time I will bring a cold salad meal.

FOOD LOG

B:  9am   –  8 oz scrambled tofu w/turmeric, garlic powder, salt & pepper, with a side of 1 c soaked steel cut oats, 1 c LF yogurt, 6 oz apple, 2 t cinnamon & 15 drops liquid saccharin all mixed together

L:  2pm   –  4 oz Moroccan Chicken (recipe), 2 c salad, 1 T NO, 1 c brown rice

D:  7pm   –  White Bean Turkey Chili (recipe), 2 c steamed broccoli

M:  10pm   –  Strawberry Smoothie:  1 c kefir, 6 oz frozen strawberries, 15 drops liquid saccharin

My food was changed to:
L:  Wendy’s fried and breaded cod fillet without the bread, 8 oz baked potato, 2 c garden salad, 1 T Marzetti’s ranch dressing (off plan; no abstinent dressing with me)

Then it was so late by the time I got back from the park, and I still needed to shop for groceries that I did not have time nor want to cook.  Thankfully, I am always able to eat an abstinent meal at the cafeteria at the Dekalb Farmers Market:

D:  4 oz baked turkey, 8 oz red potatoes with rosemary, 1 c sautéed zucchini/mushrooms/onions, 1 c steamed cauliflower

No metabolic. Went to bed at 9:30pm (wow!)

This isn’t the first time I have had to change my reported food.  I just thought I’d include it to show that it’s likely that plans will not always work out, but with back up plans, I can still eat abstinent meals.  Also hoping to learn from the mistakes I’m making to avoid future problems.

You may notice that I made a poor choice for lunch protein.  I hate to eat beef, as I don’t feel it is very good for me (detrimental to blood type A, as is the baked potato).  But Wendy’s chicken I’ve tried, and it is horrible tasting; inedible, and probably adulterated in some way (msg broth is what it tastes like).  That leaves fish, which is always deep fried and battered at fast food places.

Here’s the thing, I didn’t even think about the “emergency” food I keep under the car seat.  No wonder, since it’s sardines in a can, which I don’t even like and never eat.  But I didn’t think about the can of beans or vegetables either (which I would be eating cold, only slightly better than the cold lunch I’d originally forgone).  I think I just wanted something that tastes good, and I was willing to risk my recovery for it.  After 6 hours and the blood sugar getting low, I hear this is what happens:  inability to think rationally.

The good news is that even after eating something off plan, I still went right back to plan and ate an abstinent dinner.

INNER WORK

MAP session – coning and calibration session combined; working on what to do about my schedule, my food plan, stress and pressure from those. 

Every time I pray and having done this session, I just keep getting that I need to do what makes me feel at ease.  I do not shy away from confronting horrible truths or blind spots about myself.  It’s okay for me to have ease and be happy; it doesn’t have to be so hard.  If I’m convinced about something, it is no problem to commit.  If I don’t want to commit, it’s because I’m not convinced.  Whether the action is right or wrong for me, it is wrong if I am not convinced.  Timing is everything.  Later if I become convinced, I can commit then.Clearing Skies Sunrise

EXERCISE LOG

60 mins disc golf – speed round

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About innerhealthjourney

I'm a healer. I am into new age spirituality, healthy food, hiking and disc golf.
This entry was posted in Abstinence, MAP. Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to DAY 36

  1. nalini says:

    AHA! “The good news is that even after eating something off plan, I still went right back to plan and ate an abstinent dinner.”

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