Meal #1: 8:30am – Muffin Tops with apple and peanut butter, 12 oz green juice
Meal #2: 1pm – MetRx Protein Plus bar (mostly maltitol, with 1 g glycerin & sucralose)
Meal #3: 3pm – bag of Cheetos
Meal #4: 9:30pm – 1 c Blender Salad, 12 fried zucchini sticks
Meal #5: 11:45pm – 1 c yogurt, 4 oz mandarin orange slices
45 mins barefoot running disc golf – running between each throw and to the next tee.
That felt good! And I scored a 68, which is only off of my best rounds by a few strokes. Woohoo!
Now I know I can do a 5k obstacle/mud run, which is about 45 mins of running, bending, stopping, crawling and climbing. Just need to find a way to add in some climbing.
Gratitude list: Making lots of money at my night job, saving most of my money from my night job, a sweet partner who picks up the slack in the chores at home when I’m crazy busy, getting used to my new, late night schedule and not feeling so stressed and tired, incredible Spring flowers, sunshine, dramatic clouds and the full moon.
Read For Today
I feel a rant coming on! I am really resisting the whole 12 step thing, especially Step One and For Today. Sometimes it’s alright, and I find value in it, but 9 times out of 10, I read it and think, “ok. Whatever.” I finally realized why today. It’s talking about food addiction as a disease that I hate. It’s talking about limitation, helplessness and surrender. I understand the idea behind it, and how it can be a useful tool to help people just accept that their bodies cannot handle some things the same way as other people.
I give it over to God alright. But not in some pitiful, whiny way (yes, that’s what it makes me think of). My God is beautiful, powerful, humorous and understanding, and I don’t feel any less than that, because I believe God is in me, always seeking expression. Maybe it’s just semantics, but I cannot read another mention of how small and helpless “we” think we are, some of us whose bodies handle food differently.
Even as a healer, I don’t think about disease. I do not spend time focusing on the pathological. I understand that it exists in one way of thinking, the dominant world view. I choose to focus on what IS working and find that whatever I focus on expands. Conscious creation is the way I generally spend my energy, not finding and talking about what does not work. There is a place for full acknowledgement, and then it’s time to make a new story.
The more I spend time with these readings of limitation and helplessness, the further I feel from my connection with God, and I am tired of that. (Rant over)