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Getting Vegetarian

The juice cleanse went well. I only did it for about a day and then I felt I had to add in cooked and raw vegetables to maintain my level of activity…I felt like the all veggie diet really helped me deal better with the heat – over a hundred degrees all week.

The trail run? Not so well. As predicted, lack of training really slowed me down, but it was fun. After all, I did choose the run because they were giving DriFit tshirts and it was held at a park with a disc golf course where the Atlanta Open had been held for many years. So I played a round afterwards to salvage the day.

The best outcome of the veggie eating and juicing was how mentally clear and physically light I felt. So I’ve decided to move toward a vegan diet. Not perfect yet, but most meals are very vegan. I just need more places to eat out, and more recipes. I find when I haven’t prepared my food or get bored with it, I make poor eating choices.

Earlier this week I explored a vegetarian restaurant, Vegetarian Paradise on Covington Highway in Decatur. I was too “chicken” to order something that was unfamiliar, so I just order brown rice, steamed veggies and salad. Just having someone else prepare food for me was a treat, and the seemingly plain dishes had spices that I wouldn’t have thought to use myself. then I tasted a sample of their “BBQ,” made from textured vegetable protein. It was very good! The people were warm and I liked the vibe of it; I’ll try the place again.

Tonight I made up a Vegan Pumpkin Pie, one of my traditional favorites, remade with pumpkin, pie spice, soy milk, tofu, ripe banana, pecans and some oats. has a great Vegetarian Starter Kit on their site, which I ordered. There was also a very helpful vegan substitution chart for baking ingredients like eggs, dairy and butter. Basically I just used tofu in place of the eggs, banana for fluffiness, and soymilk in place of the tradItional dairy. I made them in muffin sized silicone baking pans, so it would be possible to eat in my car if I was needing to save time in the morning.

It came out pretty well. Next time I will use less banana (the flavor overpowered). Otherwise, good flavor and texture!



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Cleansing Process

Yesterday I started getting an unusual “kink” in my left groin that made it difficult to move and walk normally. It felt like it was the muscle in that area, my psoas major, deeper than the hip flexors, which is a huge muscle spanning the lumbar spine and the upper leg, situated on the front of the spine. I’ve never had this kink before; it feels like a cleansing response.

By “cleansing response,” I mean part of my body’s process of cleansing. Everyone is different in what they’ll be aware of while toxins are loosening and leaving their body, and the timing of their processes. What everyone has in common is that their liver, kidneys and digestive tract will all be experiencing some changes during the process.

Because of the healing work I do, I am very aware of the tiny changes in my body if I’m paying attention. In the past, I have noticed that my psoas can become very tight, especially on the right side. Later along my healing journeys, I noticed that it seems to be more pronounced when my liver is stressed. The muscle lays right below the liver, so it may be that toxins drift from there to the muscle. Maybe the nerve supply to each is shared. All I know is that I have noticed a connection.

So day 2 of a cleanse that involves my liver, sudddenly my psoas is involved. What to do? I tried soothing the muscle with some massage, stretching and arnica gel; I took my usual, homeopathic joint support; I checked in and muscle tested that some liver support would be welcomed, so I took some licorice and Gymnema sylvestre. Some other physical things that could be helpful would be to continue the liver/gall bladder support to help keep the bile flowing into the intestine, a colonic/enema to keep the bile and digestive waste flowing, and body brushing and lymphatic massage to keep the lymph flowing. Light, steady exercise would keep the blood moving well.

I could slow down the cleanse.

It is never necessary to feel pain or discomfort to carry out a successful cleanse.

Even one day of a cleanse that eliminates sugar, wheat, caffeine and alcohol is enough to start the processes and feel cleansing symptoms. Toxins release from the fat cells especially, also muscle and organ cells, into the blood supply and lymph. The liver and kidneys filter the blood supply and lymph. When they are not keeping up, toxins overflow back into the bloodsteam, causing the rest of my body and brain to feel ill. Slowing it down would allow my organs of detoxification to catch up with the toxin elimination.

Brain fog and headache is a sure sign that an overall slowdown of the cleanse, or more support, is needed. I did have just a tinge of headache the first and second night. I felt that was from the caffeine, as its withdrawal is also marked by those symptoms (a big reason to withdraw from caffeine before your cleanse, so you can tell what the headache means).

I’m going to get some exercise and sweat in the outdoors now, and see how it feels.

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Hello Again!

If you read my last post (on April 22), you can probably guess why I’ve been absent.

I did get too busy and overwhelmed, and I did fall away from my planned nutrition and activities, including blogging. It’s a learning process.

I have since made several starts into eating healthy and exercising regularly, and have been intermittent in my efforts. I did eventually eat sugar and flour while traveling, and that opened the door to eating those items on other occasions that were avoidable. My mind set was lost.

My birthday and vacation came and went, and I didn’t do horribly with them. I haven’t quit or lost interest in my goals. I did gain back 3 pounds, which I have since lost, so I’m basically where I left off in that regard.

It was just that I had been falling behind, posting after the fact, and then had gotten out of the daily habit. I wanted to reevaluate my priorities and decide just how much blogging I could realistically do and where it falls in my list of priorities. Sometimes it felt like I had to choose between blogging and other basic things like sleep or exercise, so something was not working for me!

Really what was happening was I was leaving important things to the last of the day, and that is not the way for me to make sure they were accomplished, but I couldn’t seem to work out my schedule to do everything I wanted.

Let me just say, that I have felt physically horrible at times, as a result of eating too much food and especially the sugar and flour. It starts innocently enough, a little here or there in a beverage, say a coffee to perk up for my evening job, a white bread sandwich, then it just keeps increasing over days and weeks. Feels like a combo of loss of mental resolve, and probably the addictive effects of the refined carbs.

I have lost my mental strictnesss now, and I am planning to do a jumpstart in the coming week. That for me involves setting up a plan that I commit to, and the physical aspect of breaking the current habits. I am “winding down” from sugar, flour, meat and caffeine, before I actually start a juice fast. That simply means eliminate the most detrimental first: Yesterday (day 1) I stopped having any more flour, today (day 2) I stopped having any more sugar or caffeine (ongoing), tomorrow (day 3) will be no more meat or cheese through days 4 & 5 I’ll just have cultured dairy, grains, fruit and vegetables (cooked and raw). No cooked (only raw fruit and vegetables) on days 6 & 7, maybe 8.

Then I’ll see if I’m ready to juice only, based on my schedule and mental readiness. I have a 5k trail run scheduled on day 6. My joints will probably already have stopped their aching and stiffness, and I’ll probably have much more energy already! I haven’t given myself much time to train, so I’m not expecting much. Just to participate will be fun.

Just to be clear, the fruit will be very minimal; my solid and juiced fruits will be proportionately low (maybe 20% of my intake, taken before exercising). The rest will be green and orange and yellow veggies; lower sugar; not a lot of carrot juice. There is still plenty of sugars in all the common vegetables, except the leafy greens, and they are loaded with protein and minerals. I will most likely go to the farmers market everyday, to get the freshest produce that my body is wanting that day. I plan to juice for a week or two, just taking cues from my body, as I will be carrying on my usual work and exercise schedule.

My goal is to transition to a vegetarian lifestyle, but my body and mind feel addicted to the meat and cheese right now. Each time I’ve tried to lay off it, I feel so “hungry.” That is certainly just habit, because the fact is, there is plenty of protein and every other nutrient in vegetables, fruit and grain. A juice cleanse is the perfect way to break a bad eating habit.

In my experience, the first week is the most tiring, when the organs and cells are immediately eliminating wastes and toxins. This will be moderated some, with the solid food “wind down” preceding the juicing. Some of the major detoxing will already be underway as soon as the sugar and then the animal products are gone.

That is one of the coolest things about our bodies; literally the same day we stop the offending, heavy, processed and adulterated foods, the body wants to express as much life force as it possibly can, and it uses the extra available energy to clean house first.

It’s like going to the cabin at the lake (or beach, or mountains-just substitute your favorite rejuvenation place here). You arrive, excited at the change of scenery, and promise of fun and relaxation. That excitement energy drives you to easily clean up and air out the old cabin – dust, vacuum, make the beds with fresh sheets, open the windows, stock the kitchen – despite being tired from the journey! Now with everything set up, you can relax and unwind, daydream the next stage of your life and express your true self. Same with your body!

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DAY 113

Didn’t post for a few days, but still going strong.

I’ve lost another 2 lbs in the past 3 weeks.

I’ve been weighing and measuring less, and listening to my body’s signals more, to tell when I’m done eating.  I’m still preparing the full meal, but I just store the leftovers.  I’m making a point to keep a balanced meals, including protein, whole unrefined carbs, plenty of vegetables, and a couple of fruit servings each day.  And the goal is still no sugar or flour.

TRUE CONFESSIONS:  I had some sugar and flour at a party last night:  1 slice of veg pizza, and 1 piece of strawberry shortcake.  No cravings today, but important to get right back on track.


Meal #1:  11am  –  Blueberry Pancakes with Pineapple Yogurt Sauce
(new recipe!)  This recipe takes more attention while it’s cooking, so a worthwhile treat for a day off from work.

Meal #2:  4:30pm  –  leftover burrito filling (1/2 c black beans, 2 oz chicken, 1/2 c broccoli, 1 oz cheese), 2 c Zucchini Soup

Meal #3:  9:45pm  –  2 slices Ezekiel toast, 1/2 T butter, 6 oz mandarin oranges


60 mins trail run (15 mins barefoot)

Going a bit easy on a cranky knee, and a sensitive spine since being rear-ended in my car 3 days ago.  Otherwise feeling good and looking forward to the Dirty Girl Mud Run this Saturday!



Still paying attention to my self talk, making sure I am being as supportive and honoring to myself as possible.  The more I get NSA entrainments and feel clear and happy and relaxed, the more I realize the negative effects of putting undue pressure on myself, or just plain being mean, and how that flows out to other people as well.  Especially with the jolt to my system in my car, there is just no room for any lack of ease that might squeeze out my healing life force.

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DAY 108


Meal #1: 9:30am – Cherry Smoothie, 8 oz green juice

Meal #2: 1pm – 4.5 oz broiled salmon, 1/2 c quinoa salad with 1 oz feta, tomatoes and kalamata olives, 6 oz sugar free chocolate covered almonds. Yuck! Overboard.

Meal #3: 7pm – DFM Tabouli (1/2 c barley, 2/3 c parsley, 1 T EVOO),


30 mins weed wacking

After the disc golf clinic on Sunday, our pro instructor asked me why i didnt throw my forehand on an obvious right bending hole (the natural flight path of a forehand thrown right handed). I said i was too tired to throw it predictably and hit the opening between the trees. I realized i throw totally differently when I’m fresh vs when I’m tired. I start out with one throw, and it lasts most of one round. Then at the end of that round, and even sooner into a second round, I have to throw differently, because I’m too tired to do my big throw.

That puts me on the position of experimenting to find a predictable throw, when I should have a throw that I can count on and just do without thinking much. Predictability is possibly the most important factor when actually playing on a course. It is what lets me know which disc to choose for a certain length and shape hole. If I’m choosing incorrectly because my throw is different than what I’ve practiced, the disc is not gonna go where I expect. That will get me into the rough where my next throw is difficult or impossible.

My big throw is far and accurate, but takes a lot of energy. Maybe the most important thing I could do is develop a reproducible, EFFORTLESS throw, backhand and forehand.

Tomorrow I will work on revamping my throw for the umpteenth time, as I play a very long, demanding course. My goal will be to forget about distance for now, instead focusing on a smooth, high speed release. Really whip it with a lot of snap.


I am having a really hard time blessing the people and situations with which I have conflicts. I used to be able to do it. It’s just a change of mind, a different way of thinking about it. I know how much it’d help me, how powerful it would be in manifesting what I want.
I just don’t want to! I’m more attached to being right, feeling justified in my point of view, kind of addicted to the anger and frustration than to feeling flexible, happy and cooperative. Compassionate.

It feels like it’s about opening my heart. It also feels like its about moving further out of childhood habits and survival mode and scarcity. Scarcity of what? Hmmm…..of love? I think in my family growing up, my mother modeled being attached to being right. There was not a reward for being loving, or for working together to find a way for everyone to win in general.

There was reward for being cooperative with her agenda so that things were easier for her. So I learned that whoever could prove they were right got to win, have their way. If i couldnt have love or have my way, then i could feel superior. A substitute for feeling loved is to feel special in any way.

There were power struggles. My mom was competing with us, her children, because she did not seem to believe that we could all win. Only one person could have their way and win. Writing about it now, it feels sad, cold and lonely.

Just to be clear, I don’t feel my mom is at fault for my behavior. In past inner work I have uncovered a lot of the origins to my behavior, feelings, beliefs and habit. I do feel it is helpful to understand and acknowledge where these things come from. It makes it easier to accept what is, own it, let it go and move on. And it keeps me from taking more responsibility than necessary.

Now I revert to that competitive way of being (right = winning), especially when stressed. Even if it’s only in my own mind and I never say or do anything about my perceived rightness. It’s become it’s own unconscious, habitual, shallow reward.

I think the way out is to unwind the tension and get back to my softer, relaxed and vulnerable self, then I can more easily allow others to be the same.

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DAY 107


Meal #1: 8am – Ginger Snap Smoothie

Meal #2: 10:30am – 8 oz green juice, 2 slices Ezekiel toast, 1 T butter, 1 t xylitol and cinnamon, 12 oz decaf, 2 oz low fat milk, 2 t xylitol

Meal #3: 4pm – 8 oz DFM pecan encrusted tofu, 1 c curried sautéed zucchini and onions, 1 c creamed broccoli, 16 oz coffee, 2 oz milk

Meal #4: 9:30pm – 1 c quinoa, 2 oz feta cheese, 3 oz DFM Curried Chicken Salad, 1/4 c tomatoes and Kalamata olives, 1 T olive oil, 1-1/2 t wine vinegar


45 mins Bicycle CyclOps wind trainer, 7 intervals. 11:30pm, after work. Highly motivated.


An insight I had in the past day:

All this freaking out I’ve been doing about time pressure and being too busy–I couldn’t remember being that stressed since chiropractic college. I wonder if I am feeling it with so much intensity because I am using little to no substances that tend to blunt emotions (like sugar and other refined carbs like bread and pasta, alcohol, fat, artificial sweeteners). This is possibly the first time in my life that I’ve been conscious of the food I’m eating, the effect it has, and choosing differently.

It surprises me if it is in fact part of the reason for the emotional intensity, in one way of looking at it, because I definitely have not been 100% pure with my abstinence. On the other hand, I definitely noticed I had more cravings and was consciously aware of wanting something to numb the intensity somewhat.

I wasn’t perfect but I did a lot better than in the past, I never had a massive binge, and I regained my focus each time. Still a work in progress.

I don’t think we realize how often we humans are unconsciously choosing food to manipulate our feelings, experiences and perceptions.

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DAY 106


Meal #1:  8am  –  Muffin Tops with apple and peanut butter

Meal #2:  1pm  –  4 oz tuna salad (including 1 T mayo), 1 white sub roll, 1 sm pickle, 6 baby carrots, 1 c Blender Salad, 1 lg handful potato chips

Meal #3:  7pm  –  1 beer, 4 oz DFM Curry Chicken Salad, 3 lg  handfuls potato chips

Meal #4:  10pm  –  1 Think Thin protein bar



90 mins disc golf

Hosted a disc golf clinic for women today.  It was a great event, with lots of women turning out and learning a lot about how to play better, or for the first time!  That has had me very busy, so the posts and inner work have been a bit lacking from what I like to do.

I have 2 weeks to get ready for the Dirty Girl Obstacle Course and Mud Run on April 28th, so I’m pretty motivated to get the workouts in going forward!



Gratitude List

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DAY 105


Meal #1: 10:45am – Muffin Tops with 6 oz pumpkin, vanilla and 2 oz pecans (not amazing–this combo needs work; maybe using pumpkin pie spice next time), 8 oz green juice

Meal #2: 4:45pm – 4 oz sushi fish, 1 c white rice, 1 c house salad, 1 c seaweed salad, 1 T oil

Meal #3: 9:45pm – 1 beer, 3 oz goat cheese, 3 oz Nut Thins

90 mins
disc golf



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DAY 104


Meal #1: 8:30am – Muffin Tops with apple and cinnamon, 8 oz green juice

Meal #2: 1pm – Picadilly 4 oz chicken, 1 c broccoli, 8 oz red potatoes, 1 cornmeal muffin

Meal #3: 6pm – Coffee Smoothie

Meal #4: 8:30pm – 3 c salad of mixed baby greens, beets, arugula, cilantro, 1-1/2 oz feta cheese, 2 T salad dressing, 1 c quinoa, 4 oz steamed shrimp

I made a delicious, nutritious and abstinent meal for work (at the pizza restaurant!) and ate nothing else.  Another victory!

Meal #5: 1am – Think Thin protein bar



NSA session-Really aware of my mid spine, and my abs wanting to engage and reorient how my hips and shoulders relate to my abdomen.

I actually felt an oscillator on each side of my thoracic spine unwinding tension. A totally new feeling that I’ve never been taught at the seminars.

Tonight at work I was asked if I could permanently add Friday night shift to my schedule.  I said no because I had decided to keep the workload lower.  Glad I could keep my integrity with myself.

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